What is a Sex Therapist and What Do They Do?
What is a sex therapist and what do they do?
Takeaway: Maybe you’ve heard of sex therapy in popular media or from a friend, but you aren’t quite sure what sex therapy really is. As a sex therapist with a master's degree in human sexuality education, I support people with all kinds of sexual issues such as sexual behavior, sex addiction, sexual orientation, improving their sex lives, and sexual confidence. I am often asked if sex therapy sessions involve sex, spoiler alert, they do not. What a sex therapist is and what we do remains a mystery to so many people. As a sex therapist in Littleton, I want to demystify what sex therapy is all about. Let’s get into it.
What is a Sex Therapist?
A sex therapist is someone who supports individuals or couples with problems they have related to sex.
We are licensed mental health professionals who have specialized training related to sex and sexuality and helps people with a single sexual concern or several sexual challenges. We offer a safe and welcoming place to anyone who wants therapeutic support for sexual difficulties. We work collaboratively with our clients to develop treatment plans tailored to address sexual problems.
What do sex therapists do?
Sex therapists offer a safe place to identify and explore problems you are having with sex.
A sex counselor is bound by ethical standards and confidentiality requirements. This means that you can discuss your concerns about sexual function, sexual relations, or your sexual life without fear of judgment or disclosure.
Here are some examples of problems a sex therapist may offer help with:
Intimacy Issues: We can help you address emotional barriers that hinder emotional intimacy and closeness within a relationship.
Sexual Dysfunction: We can help with difficulties related to arousal, performance anxiety, or anorgasmia (inability to achieve orgasm).
Desire Discrepancies: Our unique clinical training makes us qualified to support folks who have a significant difference regarding physical contact and/or sex. Relationship issues stemming from desire discrepancy do not typically clear up on their own and working with someone who can provide in depth psychotherapy can greatly improve your sexual experience.
Communication Problems: We help clients improve their communication skills, enabling them to discuss their sexual needs, desires, and concerns openly. You may feel uncomfortable talking about your problems with a medical doctor or family therapist. Individual therapy sessions are a place for you to practice therapy skills to improve communication.
Past Trauma or Abuse: We support individuals who have experienced sexual trauma or abuse and want to heal or regain a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
Childhood Sexual Abuse: Most sex therapists can support individuals dealing with the effects of childhood sexual abuse. Addressing emotional factors in a therapy session can improve day to day living as well as relationship satisfaction.
Exploration and Education: We help people learn more about their body image issues, sexual preferences, gender identity, or how to enhance their sex lives.
Nontraditional or Alternative Lifestyles: We provide guidance and support for individuals or couples exploring open relationships, kink, or other nontraditional sexual practices.
Does a Sex Therapist Have Sex with Their Clients?
No. Sex Therapy never involves sex between the therapist and client.
In fact, in a professional relationship, sexual intimacy is never appropriate and should be reported to the board that licenses, registers, or certifies the licensed therapist. If you have experienced sexual contact in therapy, report it.
My role is to offer guidance, education, and therapeutic interventions to help you resolve sexual problems.
Sex Therapists want to support your improved sexual satisfaction and overall well-being, but do not engage in sexual activity with their clients.
Sex Therapists do engage in sexual activity with their clients because it would be unethical and a major breach of professional boundaries.
A Sex Therapist can help you with psychological, emotional, and relational aspects of sexuality, but they will never have sex with you.
What do Sex Therapists Do?
A sex therapist does talk therapy.
Like other therapists, we do talk therapy with people facing problems related to sex. We do the same things as other kinds of talk therapists, but with in depth knowledge (and a master's degree) in experience in helping people with sexual challenges.
A sex therapist does what many therapists do, but they are specialists.
Assesses- We conduct comprehensive assessment of their clients sexual concerns and overall relationship dynamics. An assessment helps a Sex Therapist understand the specific issues and challenges their clients are facing
Educates- We provide clients with accurate, evidence-based information about human sexuality, sexual anatomy, and sexual response. Sex Therapists also provide education about sexual health, contraception, and safe sex practices.
Supports- Sexual issues are often intertwined with emotional and psychological factors. Sex Therapists offer emotional support and create a judgment free zone for clients to explore their sexual desire, sexual issues, and human sexuality.
To sum it up, we do all kinds of things. Perhaps most importantly, we have a nonjudgmental and confidential environment. This allows clients to discuss their concerns about sex openly and honestly.
Let’s recap:
A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has specialized training related to sex and sexuality and helps people with sexual issues, sexual desire, and sexual dysfunctions.
Sex therapy is specialized, but it is not a specific therapy modality.
As a sex therapist in Littleton, I use a variety of sex therapy techniques when working with people seeking help with problems. I want my clients to have the best outcomes, which means that the type of sex therapy session I hold with one person may be completely different for another.
Common Types of Sex Therapy
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach that aims to identify and modify negative thought patterns and behaviors. In sex therapy, CBT techniques are used to address negative beliefs, anxieties, or performance issues related to sex. Different types of sex therapy can help address sexual dysfunctions, such as low libido, painful intercourse, and the inability to reach orgasm, significantly improving sexual satisfaction and overall quality of life.
Education and Psychoeducation: Many sex therapists provide education and psychoeducation about sexual anatomy, physiology, and function. This helps individuals and couples gain accurate information, challenge myths or misconceptions, and develop a better understanding of sexual health and pleasure.
Mindfulness-Based Therapy: Mindfulness-based approaches, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) or Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), can be beneficial in sex therapy. These practices help individuals and couples cultivate present-moment awareness, reduce anxiety, and increase body awareness and acceptance.
Narrative Therapy: Narrative Therapy is a form of therapy that focuses on the stories and narratives individuals create about themselves and their lives. While narrative therapy is not specifically designed as a sex therapy technique, it can be integrated into sex therapy to help individuals explore and reframe their experiences, beliefs, and attitudes related to sexuality.
Addressing Sexual Dysfunction
Understanding and managing sexual dysfunction with professional guidance.
Sexual dysfunction can be a distressing and isolating experience, affecting not only an individual’s sex life but also their overall well-being and relationships. Fortunately, people who see a sex therapist have a safe and supportive environment to address these issues. Sex therapists work to help individuals and couples understand the underlying causes of their sexual dysfunction, develop coping strategies, and work towards improving their sexual health and satisfaction.
Sexual dysfunction can manifest in various ways, including low sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, painful intercourse, and difficulty achieving orgasm. These issues can be caused by a combination of physical, emotional, and psychological factors, such as hormonal imbalances, medical conditions, trauma, stress, and relationship problems.
A sex therapist can help individuals and couples address these issues by:
Identifying the underlying causes of their sexual dysfunction
Developing a personalized treatment plan to address their specific needs and goals
Providing education and guidance on healthy sexual practices and communication
Helping individuals and couples develop coping strategies and techniques to manage their sexual dysfunction
Fostering a safe and supportive environment to discuss and work through their sexual concerns
By seeking the help of a certified sex therapist, individuals and couples can take the first step towards addressing their sexual dysfunction and achieving a fulfilling sex life.
How Do I Know If I need Sex Therapy?
Only you will know when you are ready to receive professional support. Don’t confuse feelings of nervousness, embarrassment, or shame with being unready to receive support. Many people seeking therapy are not sure if their personal issues are “normal” or worthy of a sex therapist’s attention.
Here are some ways to know if you should see a sex therapist:
You are not satisfied sexually
You are coping with sexual trauma
You have never talked to anyone about your sexual trauma
You want to talk about dating or relationship issues
You are dealing with LGBTQ+ issues
You are experiencing difficulty with arousal or orgasm
You are having pain during sex
You are scared/embarrassed to talk to anyone else about your sexual problem
When Should Someone Start Sex Therapy?
As soon as you have identified that there is a problem.
Oftentimes, people identify a sexual problem and then do not address it for months or years.
Addressing your sexual concerns can feel scary, overwhelming, or downright embarrassing. A Sex Therapist is trained to support you in a non judgmental and supportive way.
As soon as you have identified a sexual problem, seek support. I often work with individuals who say, “I wish I had come to you sooner.” If you feel like you have been missing out or losing time when it comes to sex, that’s a good sign that it’s time to start Sex Therapy.
If you are experiencing a sexual problem and want support, don’t wait.
Getting Started in Sex Therapy
Now that you have some foundational information on what sex therapy is all about, you may be wondering how to get started. If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual issues or concerns, consulting a qualified sex therapist can be a helpful step in addressing and resolving these challenges.
I Want To Improve My Sex Life. Where Do I Start?
What to Expect from Sex Therapy
An overview of the therapy process and what clients can anticipate.
Sex therapy is a type of talk therapy that focuses on addressing sexual concerns and improving sexual health. If you’re considering sex therapy, you may be wondering what to expect from the process. Here’s an overview of what you can anticipate:
Initial Consultation: Your first session with a sex therapist will typically involve an initial consultation to discuss your concerns, goals, and expectations. This is an opportunity for you to get to know the therapist and determine if you feel comfortable working with them.
Assessment: The therapist will conduct an assessment to identify the underlying causes of your sexual concerns. This may involve discussing your medical history, relationship dynamics, and sexual experiences.
Treatment Plan: Based on the assessment, the therapist will develop a personalized treatment plan to address your specific needs and goals. This may involve individual or couples therapy, depending on your situation.
Therapy Sessions: Sex therapy sessions typically involve discussing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to sex. The therapist may also provide education and guidance on healthy sexual practices, communication, and intimacy.
Homework and Exercises: The therapist may assign homework or exercises to help you practice new skills and techniques outside of the therapy sessions.
Progress Monitoring: The therapist will regularly monitor your progress and adjust the treatment plan as needed.
Throughout the therapy process, you can expect:
A safe and non-judgmental environment to discuss your sexual concerns
A collaborative and empathetic approach to addressing your needs and goals
Education and guidance on healthy sexual practices and communication
Support and encouragement to help you achieve your goals
By understanding what to expect from sex therapy, you can feel more comfortable and prepared to take the first step towards addressing your sexual concerns.
Finding a Sex Therapist
Tips and resources for locating a qualified sex therapist.
Finding a qualified sex therapist can be a daunting task, especially if you’re not sure where to start. Here are some tips and resources to help you locate a sex therapist who meets your needs:
Ask for Referrals: Ask your primary care physician, gynecologist, or other healthcare providers for recommendations. They may have a list of qualified sex therapists in your area.
Check Professional Organizations: Look for sex therapists who are certified by professional organizations such as the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).
Online Directories: Utilize online directories such as the AASECT website or the Inclusive Therapist website to find sex therapists in your area.
Check Credentials: Make sure the sex therapist has the necessary education, training, and experience to address your specific concerns.
Read Reviews: Check online reviews from other clients to get a sense of the therapist’s approach and effectiveness.
Initial Consultation: Schedule an initial consultation with the therapist to discuss your concerns and determine if you feel comfortable working with them.
By following these tips and utilizing these resources, you can find a qualified sex therapist who meets your needs and helps you achieve your goals.
