Signs You Are Bisexual: How Do I Know If I’m Bi?
Understanding your sexual identity can be, well, a lot. Luckily, I specialize in helping people explore, understand, and embrace their sexual identity.
If you are wondering if you are Bisexual, this post is for you. 🩷💜💙
In this post, I cover six signs of bisexuality, a basic definition of bisexuality, and the most common questions about bisexuality that I get as a sex and sexuality therapist in Denver.
A bisexual person is someone who experiences attraction to two or more genders. This can look a million and one ways.
For example, a bisexual woman might be attracted to both men and women, or she might find herself drawn to people regardless of their gender. Bisexuality is a fluid orientation (so rad 🤘🏾).
When I was a baby queer (🥹), I wondered about bisexuality for years before ever taking the time to try and understand my sexuality. Please don’t wait that long. Doing the deep inner personal work to explore and understand your sexuality is worth it 💯
Exploring and understanding your sexual identity is a deeply personal and unique experience.
There is no correct timeline for exploring and understanding your sexual identity. I hope that the information in this post supports your exploration and/or understanding of sexual identity. 🌈
**But first, a disclaimer. Talking about sexual identity is complex. Anyone’s sexual identity is uniquely theirs. Sexual identities may be permanent or fluid depending on the person. Statements made about a sexual identity label or category should not be conflated to all people who identify within that sexual identity descriptor. Again, identity is complex, which I think, is really fucking awesome. Now, back to the blog…
Understanding Bisexuality
Bisexuality is a complex and multifaceted sexual orientation that is often misunderstood. At it’s core, bisexuality is the attraction to more than one gender, which can include men and women, non-binary folx, and other genders.
PSA: Bisexuality is not a phase. Bisexuality is a legitimate and valid sexual identity and is a natural part of the human experience.
I think I might be bisexual: Understanding my sexual orientation 🤷🏾♂️
If you think you might be bi, there are probably some signs of bisexuality that you have noticed. For example, raise your hand if…
You fantasize about being romantic with someone of another gender 🙋♀️
You want to be in a romantic relationship with someone of another gender 🙋🏽
You are mostly attracted to one gender AND you find yourself attracted to folx of other genders 🙋🏻♀️
You have confusing or intense feelings towards friends of the same gender 🙋🏾
Check in with yourself, does one or all of these resonate with you?
If you have never experienced any of this, you could also be bi. Keep reading…
6 Signs of Bisexuality from a Sexuality Therapist in Denver
These six signs of bisexuality are not exhaustive. There are no signs of bisexuality that will give you absolute clarity about your sexual identity. Sexual identity is complex, remember?
These six common signs of bisexuality are a starting place. What resonates with you?
🩷💜💙
Sign #1: You have a massive crush on your favorite cashier at Trader Joe's (jk, not really tho, but jk).
Sign #2: You’ve always felt different. I know, it’s vague, but IYKYK.
Sign #3: You think about whether or not you are bi a lot….like all the time….like soooo much.
Sign #4: You’ve had romantic feelings for a friend and it has scared the shit out of you, leading to confusing friendships.
Sign #5: You’ve had romantic feelings for a friend and it has scared the shit out of them.
Sign #6: You feel dissatisfied in your sexual experiences, possibly because you are sexually attracted to more than one gender.
Does one or more of these signs of bisexuality resonate with you?
🩷💜💙
If you want to gain clarity in your sexual identity with the support of a licensed therapist, I would love to work with you.
I help baby queers and LGBTQ+ folx gain clarity in queer identity so they can experience authenticity, make change, and find queer joy.
Let’s connect and see if we vibe! I welcome you exactly as you are 💜
Those signs of bisexuality are too vague, Chelsea!
Yes, they are vague, I agree.
It’s realllly reallllly hard to generalize signs of bisexuality because everyone’s experiences and identities are unique to them. I think talking about the common questions I get a sex therapist in Denver is more helpful. Understanding your gender identity can also be part of exploring bisexuality, as it involves recognizing attraction to multiple genders and considering each person’s gender identity.
My hope is that by answering these common questions I get about bisexuality, you can go deeper in your own exploration of bisexuality and whether or not you’re bi.
5 Common Questions about Bisexuality that I get as a sex therapist in Denver
#1: How do I know if I’m bi?- Ask yourself, “am I attracted to multiple (or all) genders?” If the answer is yes, there is a good chance that you are bisexual. Bisexuality has several sister identities including pansexual and omnisexual that fall under the bisexual umbrella. If you answered “yes” to being attracted to multiple or all genders, you might want to learn more about pansexuality and omnisexuality too.
#2: Can I be bisexual even if I have never had sex outside of a “straight” relationship?- Yes. Who you have sex with does not dictate your sexual orientation or sexual identity. There is a common misconception that in order to be bisexual, a person has to have sex with multiple genders. This simply is not true. Who you hook up with, date, or marry does not dictate your sexual identity. You do not have to “prove” your bisexuality to anyone. Want more support in understanding this? Schedule with me.
#3: Is bisexuality just a phase?- No. People who identify as bisexual are not in a phase. It is common for queer people to explore and experiment when determining where their attraction lies, but that doesn’t mean bisexuality is a phase. Bisexuality is a real, valid sexual identity and is not a phase. There is a common myth that bisexuality is a phase or stepping stone prior to being gay/lesbian. This is simply untrue (and bi-phobic).
#4: Do I have to come out as bisexual?- No. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to come out to anyone as anything, ever. However, if you do want to share your identity with someone, you get to decide what that looks like. It is common for people in the LGBTQ+ community to come out to certain people in their life and not to others. For example, you may want to share your bi identity with a close friend or partner, but not with people at work. That’s ok. Coming out is a personal choice and process. If you would like support with coming out, I would be honored to support you. Connecting with other bisexual folx can also provide valuable support and a sense of community. Schedule a free vibe check here to see if we might be a good fit for therapy.
#5: Are bisexual people just confused about who to choose? No. Bisexual people are not confused about who to choose. There is a pervasive myth that, eventually, bisexual people are forced to “choose a side.” There’s this idea that once a bisexual person is married, they have made their choice and are now “straight” or “gay” depending on their gender and the gender of their partner. The myth that a person is no longer bisexual once they “choose” a partner is not true. In fact, this is known as bi-erasure, and it’s dangerous.
OK, I think I might be bi, but Chelsea, how do I know if I’m bi?
I know, you want certainty. You want a 100% wholehearted YES, you are bisexual, and here’s how I know kind of answer. Unfortunately, I cannot give that to you.
I may sound like a broken record here, but there is no one size fits all understanding of bisexuality.
Perhaps defining bisexuality is another helpful way to think and feel through whether or not you are bisexual. Bisexuality includes attraction to two or more genders.
Despite it’s growing recognition, bisexuality is still surrounded by misconceptions and stereotypes. Bisexuality involves sexual attraction to multiple genders, and this attraction can be fluid, meaning it can change over time. It does not require equal feelings toward every gender, and it encompasses attraction beyond the binary definition of male and female, including non-binary, trans, and agender individuals.
Common Misconceptions about Bisexuality
Despite its growing recognition, bisexuality is still surrounded by misconceptions and stereotypes. One common misconception is that bisexuality is just a phase and that bisexual people are confused or unsure about their sexual identity. Research tells us otherwise.
Research suggests that bisexuality is a stable and enduring orientation, not a temporary or experimental phase.
Another misconception is that bisexual people attracted to everyone. All the time. This is not true.
Bisexual people experience attraction to specific individuals, just like people of any other sexual orientation. Bisexuality is not about being promiscuous or indiscriminate, but about being attracted to multiple genders.
When others discriminate against bisexuals, it’s called biphobia. Popular “funny” sayings and memes like “bisexuals are slutty” are giving biphobia. Unless you’re bisexual, in which case you’re inside the community, and when you say it you think it’s funny. A straight person saying “bisexuals are slutty” is giving biphobia. When I say “bisexuals are slutty” it’s just 🔥😂
Finding Support and Community
Finding support and community is essential for bisexual individuals, especially in a society that often marginalizes and erases bisexuality.
Online resources such as Bisexual Resource Center and in-person locations such as The Center on Colfax or Inside Out Youth Services (for my fellow Coloradans) offer valuable information and community for bisexual individuals.
Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a qualified therapist can be incredibly helpful.
A sex therapist in particular, can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to explore your sexual identity and orientation. Joining a queer community or support group can also provide a sense of belonging and connection with others who share similar experiences.
Bisexuality is an umbrella term that encompasses many other sexual identities.
Bisexuality is an umbrella term and it implies an attraction to multiple genders (or all).
A helpful way of understanding if you are bisexual is to ask yourself this question, “ Am I attracted to multiple genders?”
If the answer is “yes” then congratulations, you might be bi!
If your are still unclear, congratulations, you might be bi!
To be clear, there are no “true signs” of being bisexual. If you are wanting a clear cut answer, you’ve come to the wrong therapist. If you find a therapist willing to tell you what your sexual identity is in a blog post…run. 🚩
The truth is, there is no right or wrong way to be bi.
The cool thing about your sexual identity is that only you have to understand it. So, if you finish this post and are still unsure about your sexual identity, that’s ok. Your sexual identity might not fit a specific label. Your sexual identity may be fluid and change. All of this is normal and valid. 🌈
If you are seeking support related to sexual identity, I can help.
Connecting with other bisexual folx can also provide a sense of community, especially if local LGBTQ+ resources are limited (I’m looking at you rural Colorado).
As a sex and sexuality therapist in Colorado, I specialize in helping people sort through their thoughts, feelings, and experiences around sex and sexuality.
I help my sex therapy clients “land” somewhere that feels good to them. I help my clients authentically embrace their sexual identity and experience (queer) joy! 🌈
Vibe checks are always free and are meant to be a no pressure situation. I want you to feel good about therapy. So, let’s see if we vibe!
Still wondering if you are Bi?
If you are still reading this and wondering, “Am I Bisexual?” I would love to support your exploration of sexual identity. As a sex therapist in Colorado, I provide talk therapy to baby queer and LGBTQ+ individuals who want to gain clarity and live authentically. As a trained sex therapist, who also happens to be queer & bi, I have over a decade of mental health and sexuality education experience in the field of social work, supporting and advocating with the queer community.
Are you ready to stop worrying about your sexuality and start living authentically? LGF. 🌈
Connecting with other bisexual folks can provide invaluable support and a sense of community, especially in the areas where local LGBTQ+ resources may be limited.
Conclusion
Bisexuality is a valid and legitimate sexual orientation that is widely misunderstood.
By understanding the complexities of bisexuality and busting common myths, we can work together toward creating a more inclusive and welcoming world for bisexual individuals.
If you are questioning your sexual orientation or identity, remember that you are not alone.
There are resources and support available to you.
