Does Sex Therapy Work?
Does Sex Therapy Work? How Sex Therapy Can Help You and When it’s Time to See a Sex Therapist
Mar 4
Written By Chelsea Newton
If you are considering sex therapy, you may be wondering if it works.
Yes, sex therapy works.
Sex therapy can be beneficial for anyone seeking to improve their relationship with sex and pleasure. However, not everyone will benefit from sex therapy.
Like all types of therapy, sex therapy works best when the person or people involved want help. People who benefit from sex therapy are seeking meaningful change and feel ready for support.
If you or your partner don’t want to engage in sex therapy, like at all, then you are not likely to benefit from sex therapy (or any therapy tbh). When you’re ready, sex therapy works.
In this post, I’ll cover how sex therapy works, who can benefit from sex therapy, and signs that it’s time to see a sex therapist.
So How Does Sex Therapy Work?
Sex therapy works just like other forms of talk therapy.
Sex therapy works to understand a client or client’s identified sexual issues and then investigate those issues carefully.
A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional trained to support people with things like depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. What sets sex therapists apart from other kinds of therapists is their extensive training in how to create safety for others when talking about sex.
Sex therapists are highly trained to provide a safe space for clients to explore what sex and sexuality means to them. Sex therapy works by understanding a client or client’s identified sexual dysfunction, sexual desire, and sexual behavior and then investigating those issues carefully.
In sex therapy, it is common practice for a sex therapist to make appropriate referrals to a medical doctor to address any physical sexual concerns or sexual dysfunction. A medical doctor is necessary to rule out any specific sexual concerns that can be addressed with medication or other non-talk therapy treatments.
Clients and certified sex therapists then set goals around sex and intimacy based on the identified issues and any medical considerations. A sex therapist will support you in determining what is needed for you to achieve your goals around sex and intimacy. Then you (with the support and guidance of your therapist) will work to execute those goals.
So Does Online Sex Therapy Work?
Yes, individual sex therapy sessions (IRL and online) work for many people.
Like any type of therapy, sex therapy works best when the person or people receiving therapy are engaged in the therapeutic process. This means that they want to be in sex therapy and aren’t just doing it because someone said so or gave an ultimatum.
Sex therapy also works when an individual or couple is seeking support for sex specific issues such as:
Sexual arousal or libido
Intimacy issues
Sex addiction
Unwanted sexual fetishes
Inability to achieve orgasm
BDSM/kink exploration
Sexual education
Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation
Clients often ask me how they will know if sex therapy is working for them and their sexual life.
Sex therapists, like other therapists, are not magicians. We cannot "cure" or "resolve" sexual difficulties in one therapy session.
A sex therapist, sex educator, or sex counselor will work with you to address sexual problems over time. You will know that sex therapy works once you have engaged in the therapeutic process with a compatible sex therapist with specialized training who can support your sexual problems and emotional health.
You will know that sex therapy has worked when you are resolving relationship issues stemming from sex and have achieved your sexual intimacy goals.
When sex therapy works, the benefits are wide reaching. The benefits of sex can have an impact on physical health, mental health, and on sexual relationships.
Benefits of Sex Therapy
Physical Benefits:
Better sleep
Stronger immune system
Headache relief
Numerous studies show that sex can have health benefits.
Mental Benefits:
Decrease performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction
Increase coping skills
Pleasurable sex life/fulfilling sex life
Sex therapy can benefit your mental health. Like other types of talk therapy, sex therapy works to understand the issues that are causing you stress, dissatisfaction, and even fear. Sex therapy will enhance your ability to identify emotions, cope with stress and anxiety, and experience pleasure.
Relational Benefits:
Strengthen relationships
Open lines of communication with your sexual partner (s)
Better sex lives
Sex therapy benefits relationships. Whether you are doing sex therapy individually or as part of a couple or polycule, the benefits are endless. Sex therapy can work to strengthen relationships, open lines of communication, and improve sex.
Who Can Benefit From Sex Therapy?
Honestly, anyone.
Anyone who seeks to better understand their relationship with sex and/or sexuality can benefit from sex therapy including people:
Experiencing difficulty with arousal, orgasm or sexual function
Coping with sexual trauma
Going through a breakup
Exploring gender identity
Who are dating
Navigating infidelity
Struggling with fertility
Wanting a more fulfilling sex life
Are pregnant
Coping with an STI(s)
Wanting to talk about relationship issues
Who think they have a sexual disorder or sexual dysfunction
How Do I Know If I Should See a Sex Therapist?
Only you will know when you are ready to receive professional support from a sex therapist. But don’t confuse feelings of nervousness, embarrassment, or shame with being unready to receive support.
Many people seeking sex therapy are not sure if their personal issues are “normal” or worthy of a sex therapist’s attention.
Here are some ways to know if you should see a sex therapist for talk therapy:
You are not satisfied sexually
You are coping with sexual trauma
You want to talk about dating or relationship issues
You are dealing with LGBTQ issues
You are experiencing sexual dysfunctions
You want to better control sexual behavior
You are having pain during sex
You are scared/embarrassed to talk to anyone else about your sexual issues
When Should Someone Start Sex Therapy?
As soon as you have identified that there is a problem.
Oftentimes, people identify a sexual problem and then do not address it for months or years.
Addressing your sexual concerns can feel scary, overwhelming, or downright embarrassing. A sex therapist is trained to support you in a non judgmental and supportive way. Seek sex therapy who is an expert in addressing sexual concerns sooner than later.
As soon as you have identified a sexual problem, seek support.
I often work with individuals who say, “I wish I had come to you sooner.”
If you feel like you have been missing out or losing time when it comes to sex, that’s a good sign that it’s time to start sex therapy.
If you are experiencing a sexual challenges and want support, don’t wait.
Where To Start With Sex Therapy
Start here. I’m trained to support you.
If you live in Colorado, schedule a free 30 minute consultation with me to learn more about how I can help you achieve your goals around sex and intimacy.
We will book a vibe check and subsequent sex therapy session to get started.
Reach out for support, your sex life is worth it.
If you live outside Colorado, unfortunately, I can’t be your therapist, but there is someone else who can be!
The American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is a great place to start when looking for a provider. Using AASECT’s “find a professional” link will bring you to a directory of qualified sex therapists.
Other ways to find a sex therapist include:
Getting a referral from a healthcare professional
Asking your health insurance company for a list of mental health professionals who specialize in sexual health
Contacting your local LGBTQ Center for resources around mental health or sex positive therapists. In Colorado, it’s The Center on Colfax.
Hi, I’m Chelsea Newton, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and human sexuality educator who specializes in human sexuality, sexual health, and helping people with a better sex life.
Interested in working together?
Check out my Sex Therapy page to learn more.
